Sorry I Accosted You.

I accosted a probably very friendly couple at a Barnes & Noble about a month ago. I feel bad about it, and yet I knew that accosting them was my duty. Read on:

I was standing in line with some friends at Barnes & Noble. Susannah was purchasing Robert Penn Warren's "All The King's Men" for summer reading, and as I waited for her to check out, I eyed the small CD rack. It was stocked with impulse soccer-mom buys, such as Michael Buble and Kenny G, but then, in the upper right corner, there was a copy of The Best of Radiohead. Now, as a huge Radiohead fan, I knew that this compilation album was in no way Thom Yorke's idea. It was a portion of EMI's plan of revenge after Radiohead left their label to give away In Rainbows. A twenty-something couple in front of me were browsing the CDs as well.

"Oh, Radiohead!" said the man, picking up a copy.
"They're great," replied his girlfriend tracing her finger down the back track listing.

I fretted. "These people can't purchase this sham of an album! Radiohead wouldn't want that!" I thought. So, I did what any partially insane teen would do.

"You can't buy that!" I said abruptly.

The couple stared at me blankly. I stared back.

"Um. EMI, Radiohead's old label, released it without permission. Radiohead, uh, doesn't want people to buy it," I stammered.

The couple stared at me blankly.

"Um. Ok," said the male with a forced chuckle, placing the album back on the rack. "Why is this nervous girl with braces yelling at me about Radiohead?" he was probably thinking.

My friend Victoria looked at me with an amused smile. I turned around and walked away. Mission accomplished.

My apologies for accosting you, friendly couple. But you really shouldn't buy the album.